More Changes!

I feel like I am the QUEEN of changing.....colleges and degrees! I've been thinking and praying after this interesting semester at Liberty. I really feel called to go back and finish my Early Childhood Education degree and teach those adorable, little kiddos! I'll work on my Associates Degree and then transfer to, I think, NAU for their Bachelor's program in Early Childhood Education. Mom brought up the idea of then getting my endorsement to teach K-3rd grade and I think that may be a great option to pursue too. Then I would have the option to teach birth-3rd grade. PS; in 2012 the State of AZ is requiring teachers for K-3rd to have their ECE endorsement to teach those grades. I feel like I keep changing degrees and programs; bouncing from one to another. I know. There are just SO many things I could see myself doing and well, I just want to try them ALL! But I also know I need to PICK one and STICK to it for more then one semester! I know! I know. Nys, quit bouncing and just DECIDE!

Putting your money where your mouth is!

I've been known to say, "even if all the money was taken away, I'd still be the same person". After I say that, I tend to get looks of, "yah right!" or looks of, "you have no idea how to live without all the money" or looks saying, "I'd LOVE to see THAT!" Now I guess I have a "when the rubber meets the road" chance to live in that and see if what I've been saying for years is actually true.

Waiting

I read this quote on a friend's Facebook status and I started to cry when I read it. Here it is:

"When we choose to walk with God rather than off the path to handfuls of other options, we find His perfect will for our lives. We find our promised land." ~Beth Moore

It just hit me like a ton of bricks. How much am I off on other options instead of following His perfect will for my life? How many things am I looking to, hoping for good outcomes, hoping it will "all work out", when maybe God doesn't intend for me to stand there hoping? Maybe He's asking me to live lavishly in His love and by faith and at the right moment He will give me my promised land. Maybe He's asking me to trust. To wait. To be vulnerable with my heart and dreams and be vulnerable to Him with them.

Waiting.

Ouch.

I fail horribly. I'm the kind of person who I know what I want, when I want it. I know the how, why, when, how much etc questions. I know what I want. So imagine how horribly hard it must be for me to wait.....and wait.....especially if I think I know what I want in life.

Waiting in the Lord.

"When we choose to walk with God rather than off the path to handfuls of other options, we find His perfect will for our lives. We find our promised land." ~Beth Moore

FlashForward

Has anyone else seen the new ABC show, FlashForward? If you haven't it's super intense and such a trip, but I love it! I also learned the hard way, by watching the show @ ABC.com, when I missed it Thursday night, that watching it alone Friday morning was NOT the best idea I've had recently. I was FREAKED out!
Anyway, back to the point of my post, I wish, like in FlashForward I could see just a portion (Okay, I DO have a particular point I'd like to see....) of my life in 5 years. Just to see if it's all worth it in the end. What actually DOES happen...! It would make things much easier on me now :) Maybe I just need to learn to live NOW, like it doesn't matter what happens with a hundred things, but just live it nonetheless. Too bad I can't QUITE convince myself of it!!!!

Why?

Why is the one person who won't leave me alone and I want nothing from and the one I would like to spend time with, is so wishy-washy over everything????????????

Tention

So, it's been awhile, posting again. I'm so horrible at this!! I guess when the topic comes up to blog about, I start thinking and processing whatever topic it is and by the time I FINALLY make it to sit down and write my thoughts, I've come to some kind of resolution myself and blogging just doesn't make sense.
However, I am still processing through some things from an unexpected but fun, phone call last night. As much fun as it is talking to this person and as much fun we can poke at each other, we always end up in some heated "conversation". Not in a negative light AT ALL, just the face that we are both strong willed people who know what we want and won't settle for less, this normally leads us in the way of pushing the other's views or opinions to make them think through what they said; an example. I was telling this person I was turning into a stay-at-home mom. Now, for reference, I very much so want to be a SAHM. I want to raise my children and be the mom who does things with their children; not hires someone to make memories with them. I have issues with parents like that, but that issue is for another post. So, I'm turning into a SAHM; doing homework till 2 before realizing I haven't showered and when I do, not doing my hair or makeup and throwing on some yoga pants and a t and I'm good to go back to HW. As many of you know; I LOVE dressing up! It doesn't even sound like me in yoga pants and no makeup! And this person said in response, "well isn't that what you want to do????" It was a little condescending, but it's how this person is. I don't take it personal any more. But as this person said this, I blurted out (which I'm trying to get better at..) "NO! I want to dress up and be me and do things!" It's ironic. I know what I want out of life. However, I seam to keep coming in conflict when I think ahead how it will all pan out. I want to counsel teens and kids, but I won't have my Masters' to do so, for 4 more years. And eventually I want to open my own practice. And I want to get married. And I want babies; 3 or 4 or 5...who knows! And I want to stay home with them and suddenly..it all gets jumbled up and I don't see how all of that can work it's self out. Maybe the bigger tension is, just that; tension! My plan...is WACKO! I don't really have one....exactly. I have parts and a frame work, but no real plan. I mean, I have learned the lesson; plan as much as you want but life happens and no plan will work when life happens; especially things you didn't plan on. And for me, the "I-know-what-I-want-outta-life" gal, this jumbled plan brings tension. The funny thing is, this person ALWAYS can find holes in my plan and bring that tension in. I'm not saying it's bad at all. Actually, it's probably good this person does, because it makes me think. He's made me think through so much more then I thought I needed to and really, I am so grateful for the tension this person has brought. However, it leaves me kind of "plan-less" which I'm not so grateful for. In the same manor, I hope I bring tension into his life and make him think through this person's preconceived notions and wrestle, have tension in their life, to better it. As of now...I have not a very good plan, and LOTS of homework....which brings up another point this person pointed out; that I need to go out more. That's another topic for another post.

Gluten-Free Consession Stand!

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If you know anyone who is on a gluten-free diet, read the above article!!!